The List List

I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m bored and flipping around the internet looking for something to read, the thing that always seems to draw me in are lists. They are easily digestible. I can stop in the middle if I’m bored. Or I can skip to the end if I’m bored. I get bored a lot.

Lists really are the total package. Basically like if Ryan Reynolds could also sing like Adam Levine. The total package. So, logically, I figured it would make sense to try and capitalize on that list enthusiasm here on the site. Therefore, I put together a quick list of my favorite things to read lists about. Hope you enjoy.

10. Animals Doing Stuff

I’m actually not super interested in this topic if I’m being honest. So why are they on my Top 10 list? Because these lists need to build! You can’t just start with “now we’re here”. You need to start at the bottom (incidentally, Drake songs were a near miss for this list). A truly well-constructed list starts with a good intro (check), gives you a first item that makes you curious but not enthralled (check) and then builds slowly before bringing it home with an awesome conclusion (in the words of Harry Potter: checkmate).

9. Bane Quotes from Dark Knight Rises

I like to read them and then I like to say them in my best attempt at the Bane voice. It usually helps to have an empty cup at your disposal to give your voice a nice echo. Your welcome.

8. Pitch Perfect

This is a purposely vague entry into the lists because I’m open to a lot of different possibilities. Maybe you go with a list of the greatest songs from Pitch Perfect. I’m on board with that (assuming you don’t put Cups #1-don’t even think about putting Cups #1). Maybe you want to list your favorite one liners or highlight all of Jesse’s best moments (that could potentially be a long list, but I’d still read it). I’m not going to micromanage you about what to write about, but you can bet I will have some strong opinions about the order you put things in. I’m a passionate son of a pitch. Is that what they call fans of that movie?

7. Greatest Kicks

To those of you who are not runners, you might be surprised to find out these type of lists do not include Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. In track, we call a runner’s finishing sprint at the end of a race a “kick” because I don’t know. That’s just what they told me. The “kick” is the most exciting part of most distance races and, as a guy who tried to be a “kicker” back in his own running days, I have a special appreciation for them.

Plus, these lists usually have some exciting videos embedded in them which makes for a more compelling reading experience. As a millennial, I can’t be expected to read strictly words. I need some videos and pictures in there to keep me engaged.

However, as my reader, you will not have that luxury. This may be where you get bored and skip to the end.

6. American Ninja Warrior Power Rankings  

I’m a big American Ninja Warrior fan. As you may have seen elsewhere on this site, I tend to take my fair share of deep dives into the ninja stats. Like any sport, I like to try and come with rankings and projections for what will happen in the next season. I’ve got a fantasy team to pick in the not too distant future. There’s lots of reasons to read up on who others are thinking could put up a big season.

The main problem is, there aren’t a lot of us out Ninja heads out there. There’s so little of us we haven’t even come up with a clever name to refer to ourselves as. It’s a bit of an underserved market unlike something like NFL Power Rankings where, if you google it, you’ll get 15 different lists and a coupon for $5 off a Papa John’s pizza. They are very effective with their marketing.

List within a list alert!

To help counteract some of this market inefficiency for Ninja fans (and as a continuation to my previous post where I ran out of time to actually write this out) here are my Top 10 Ninja Power rankings just ahead of Season 10. But there’s a twist. Because, like any good list, you need a twist.

Here are my Top 10 Ninja’s for Season 10 that you’ve probably never heard of before:

10. Hunter Guerard

9. Kevin Carbone

8. Karson Voiles

7. Drew Knapp

6. Jody Avila

5. Andrew Lowes

4. Sean Darling-Hammond

3. Tyler Gillett

2. Josh Silanas

1. Adam Rayl

5. Rap Ad-Libs

Nothing makes a great rap song great like a good ad-lib. These are the lines that a rapper throws in as almost an improvised phrase or sound to really bring home their point. Big Sean is one of the kings of the ad-lib game, but people tend to love Migos ad-libs. If you listen to rap in today’s day and age, you’ve probably got a few favorites of your own and you need them if you are going to get any street cred. And trust me, I know about street cred.

4. Did You Knows About People I Find Interesting

Sometimes I’m surfing the web or listening to music and I come across a very interesting person who I don’t know that much about. In an instant it becomes my goal in life to find out as much as I can about that person. I’m scrolling through Wikipedia mostly, but I’ll occasionally skip down and check out the source documents. But it would be really convenient if I could do less Wikipedia skimming and more list reading.

Here’s some people that have made my “People I Find Interesting” list in recent months: Childish Gambino (AKA Donald Glover), the guy that James Franco plays in The Disaster Artist, Bleachers (only a one person band-hard to not be fascinated with a one person band that has a plural name) and anybody who does Curling.

3. Pick-Up Basketball

I don’t really run as much as I used to so my number one hobby has become playing pick-up basketball across the street from my apartment. Basketball has always been my favorite sport to play (running is barely even a sport, let alone the most fun), but pick-up basketball is the closest thing I’ve played to any serious, organized high level of play. Therefore, it’s what I find most relatable in list form.

Again, you could give me NBA stuff, but that’s too mainstream for a list. I’m interesting in finding out Pick-Up basketball trends: a list along the lines of “The Four Other Types of People on Your Team Every Time You Play Pick-Up Basketball at the YMCA” or  “Best Things To Say To Random Pick-Up Players So They Won’t Know If You Are The Man Or A Crazy Person”. I feel like there is a lot more room to get creative while still making a somewhat universal list that a lot of different people can share in the experience.

2. Harry Potter Fan Theories

Look, it’s hard to say how much I like reading these lists or how much I like hate reading this lists. I love Harry Potter. I love trying to uncover things that I haven’t thought of or things that are truly interesting. Sometimes, I go through a list and I gleam a few things and those experiences are great. Other times, I feel like I go through a list and just find myself picking apart all the theories and pointing out flaws or missed facts. Those experiences are also great. It gives me a chance to remind myself that I’m a huge Harry Potter fan and others pale in comparison to my awesome brilliance.

1. Backyard Sports Characters

You probably should have seen this coming as I literally just made a list of this stuff on my blog. A Backyard Sports Character list touches on a lot of the essentials for a good, internet list.

List within a list alert!

Childhood Nostalgia

 It has to pull at the heartstrings of yesteryear. These sort of lists bring you back a simpler time when all you had to do to be good at video games was point and click.

Creativity

There’s a lot of different ways you can go with these sort of lists. You can touch on who you think is the best character in each sport. You can make a list of who would be most fun to play with in real life. Maybe you want to dive into the world of cartoon vs. real life player comparisons. How about all the different power-ups? Which non-professional team name is best (Might Wombats FTW)? It’s all at your finger-tips!

Diversity

This may be a controversial statement, but I think it helps that this list would include multiple races, genders, ethnicities, disabilities, fashion senses, social cliques and/or intelligence levels. There’s something for everybody in a Backyard Sports list which opens the door for mass sharing across the social media platforms. The best part about seeing a truly legit list is being able to text it to your friends and say “read this so we can talk about it”. With a diverse list, you have lots of options on how to text that too so you can’t get shot down by someone who is supposed to be your friend but never wants to enjoy your shared posts.

Not that that has ever happened to me.